they gave every right to choose who they want. You might not agree with it, but it is their choice. Just because you picked them, doesn't mean they have to pick you. Try to get over your hurt feelings and go and enjoy the event. After all, what do godparents really do? Also, it is more of a religious thing, so just grin and bear it. hope that helped.

meant have

Frankly, I don't get the point of godparents. Like angelbaby2 said, they have every right to choose who they want to be godparents. Just because you chose them doesn't mean automatically that they have to or would choose you. Frankly, if you're all somewhat close or especially family, that title shouldn't matter. Should something happen to the birth parents of these children, it should automatically be agreed on that these other extended family members would be there to take care of your child and your sister in law's child. You're all family, you should be there for each other, you don't need a title to do that.

I was recently at a baptism and in no way am I critizing your choice at all for a godparent, but the pastor there said you need to chose wisely in a godparent, someone who will be there throughout the child's life to really enhance their growth. You said yourself you are not a very close couple to them even though you are family. Try not to be upset, this is only a very small thing in the grandness of what will be bringing up your own child.

Their kid, their choice. You choose them but you didn't have to..no one twisted your arm into making them your child's godparents. Just because they did't make you a god parent doen't mean you don't get to love their child any less if you want to, after all that is what being a god parent is all about...loving them and spoiling them...so nothing stops you from still doing it. If its just the title and 'face' you are trying to save...get over it.

"What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?" Ghandi

Get over it. It means a lot this week, but soon no one will even be talking about it.

Ugh this is a pet peeve of mine- like when people get you a "present" and then expect something in return.

Why does it matter at all? You say you feel betrayed- it's not as if you had an agreement that you'd be each others. Yes, it was lovely of you to ask them to be your child's godparents but they have no requirement to make you theirs. If they think someone else is better for the job, then that's fair enough, but you're being petty and immature by letting this ruin anything.

Let it go.

I agree with heartlebug21, let it go.

Why did you think you were going to be chosen? Had you spoken about it with her? If not, I don't see how she betrayed you. Your feelings were hurt and that's understandable but I think your expectation was what got you into trouble. Let it go. No one is going to care after the event.

i wouldn't be too worried about it. you may be the choice for their second child. it's not really a reciprocal kind of agreement. in my family, my brother and sister and i each have a different set of aunt and uncle as our godparents, but even when those same aunts and uncles had childen, only one child was paired with my parents.....you will get your turn. it doesn't mean they don't love you or appreciate you. they may have other reasons. truly, it's NOT a big deal!

This is so not a big deal ... in fact, I can't believe your mother "broke down crying" telling you the news ... what?!?

I get that you expected them to choose you and now you are upset but until now it all just happened inside your own head - start being less childish and face reality.
For me and my sister and brother my parents decided to give everybody a chance to be a godparent: I have my mothers sister and my the youngest of my fathers brother, my sister has the oldest of my fathers brothers and another aunt, ... Maybe they wanted something like that too?
Plus you said yourself that you are not close - why would they choose you? This is no I give you mine now you HAVE to give me yours Kindergarden game.

I agree with everyone else.. You should have chosen your god parents based on who you want to take care of your kids if anything happens to you, not choosing someone so that they can return the favour.

It seems immature to be hurt by this, its playground politics. I chose you now you have to chose me.

Life isnt like that.

I think your missing the whole point of being a Godparent. You said that you werent very close - why would you choose someone you arent close to be the Godparent to your child? Im not trying to be rude but do you understand what it means to be Godparent? Its a lot of responsibility, essentially Godparents take over the role of parents if something were to happen to you and your husband.

I know your feelings are hurt because you too had a deal and she broke it but your an adult, you'll be alright. If you ever have another child be sure think very hard as to who you want to be the godparents to your child.

Good luck!

Wow, good way to turn this situation around to make it all about you.
This is about the baby's baptism, not some honorary title you want to have.
How incredibly selfish.

Godparents do NOT take over the role of the parents if something happens to them. Godparents help guide the child's spirtiual life- guardians raise the children. You should want people close to you to be the godparents. How else willl they be able to guide your child? Next time talk things over with people. You know what happens when you assume...

Yeah its totally petty. you arent even close. you cant pick the Godparents expecting the same in return. You pick Godparents based on the idea that they will be good spriritual guardians for your child. its not about you.

I can't believe how ridiculous this post is. You shouldn't have chosen your brother and sister in law as your child's God Parents in expectation that they would chose you. And the fact that you're not your nephew's God Mother doesn't mean you have a less important role in his life.

Oh and stop using dramatic phrases like "my sister in law betrayed me" and "my mother broke down crying". Seriously, if this is the worst thing that's happened to you then you should consider yourself lucky.

I agree with heartlebug21. This woman needs to get over it - she even notes herself that she "assumed" that they'd be asked. There was never any agreement or discussion; so there was definitely no "betrayal". She gripes that they're family, but her nephew's parents chose the other sister-in-law and her husband, who are family as well. And "stabbed in the back"!?!? Selfish and petty. I hope she doesn't pass these qualities onto her daughter.

I agree with the majority... try not to be upset. They have the right to pick whom they want. But also, nowadays Godparents aren't that 'important'.

You need to get over it/yourself. Really? You weren't even CLOSE to your brother and sister-in-law, why would you choose them to be godparents? Being a godparent means that you're supposed to be involved in the spiritual upbringing of the child, and in the case that something happens to you or your husband, you have a loving, caring environment to leave them to.

Not only that, aren't you supposed to sit down, talk about and AGREE on being a godparent? You don't just *declare* it! It's not a freaking CONTEST.

It's their child, their decision. It's not like she HAD to choose you...sounds like the only thing you and your sister-in-law had in common is that you were both pregnant for a while. @_@ seriously.

To tell you the truth, your kid probably won't give a crap about godparents. I don't have any, I couldn't care less if I had any, and I don't really see the point of them. It's not really THAT important. Maybe you have parents, maybe you don't, maybe you have an original family, maybe you don't what really matters is you grow up not being a murderous criminal, and you live a good and happy life, and you're set. Who's the one making a big deal over all this? The kid really couldn't care less, s/he just wants a toy and a bottle. Really, they're just gonna want some to take care of them, doesn't really matter as much who, as long as they can be trusted. *Nod* so stop being over dramatic over this, it's nothing to cry about. Case Closed.

Its not really a big deal at all... I say move on and get over it

i am sure the reason you're so upset in the first place is because you already assumed your responsibilities without knowing. you assumed you'd be standing up at the christening. you were waiting for the wonderful moment they asked and made you feel special. you probably had a dress picked out. well you can't assume stuff like that! so just be realistic and realize maybe they already had their decision made before you ever asked them!

Honestly, it sounds like you created the awkwardness in this situation by involving your mom, and then letting your brother know you're hurt by it. Besides, you wouldn't want to be made a godparent simply because they "owe you," right? This is about their child, not about you or any sense of obligation to social niceties.

I think it's now on your shoulders to mitigate the tension in this scenario. Just get them a cute baptismal gift, attend the christening with a big smile on your face, and don't bring it up again. This isn't a big enough deal to risk ruining your relationship with family members. Anyway, if you put a little bit more effort into a friendship with your bro & SIL, then you could give both your kids the great opportunity of having a cousin to grow with. Develop your relationship with them, and in a few years you'll probably be asked to be godparents for their next child.

Good luck!

You have to let it go. This is a stupid comparison but it's as if you chose your best friend as your maid of honour, and then she chose HER best friend as HER maid of honour. Know what I mean? Just because you chose them, doesn't mean they have to choose you. They're probably closer to the other couple, so it would make sense for them to do that.

Anyway I agree with what everyone said so far.

I don't get this. Why are we bothering with this post? Where is the betrayal?? Where did they stab you in the back?? They have the right to choose whoever they want. Unfortunately, they can only choose one set of godparents, and they chose the set that they are closer with. Get over it. At least they chose family instead of some random people that they didn't know.

I don't get where the betrayal is either, kristyy!
Looks like they may have put more thought into choosing the godparents for their child than you did. You should be angry at yourself for making a bad choice for your child, not angry at them for not reciprocating!

I don't get what the big deal is. If you weren't close to begin with, why would they choose you to be the godparents of their kid?? Maybe you should have thought about the purpose of baptism and chosen better godparents for your own kids rather than trying to do a tit-for-tat thing for status and place in the family.

This was the funniest post ever and I loved reading everyone's comments of get over it. I too will add that this woman needs to get some business and stop assuming stuff. If your mother cried over it, you need to take her with you so you both can get a life.

honestly i think you are being wayyy out of line. they have the right to choose whoever they want. I'm assuming you chose them because you thought that they would be good Godparents should anything ever happen to you and your husband and you trust them with being there for your child. That was a decision YOU made and they had every right to make their own decision as well. unless you had some kind of pact that if you chose them as Godparents and that they would return the favor, there is no reason for you to be upset, and its very inappropriate that you expressed your hurt feelings over this to your brother thinking he would see your side. grow up this is not a popularity contest. this is such petty and childish behavior.

and clearly you and your mother have deeper issues that need to be worked out. you both have wayyy too much time on your hands and are clearly immature. set an example for your son. go to that baptism and support his godparents. this is just beyond ridiculous to me. they don't owe you anything.

Is the only reason that you chose them to be your child's godparents is so that they would choose you? I think this is kind of a ridiculous thing to be upset about. You're honestly mad that she chose different siblings? It's really mind boggling, and I don't really have much to say because I'm left so speechless. I will say this though: grow up, be a family, and remember that more often than not godparents are extremely symbolic things and don't really have the same practical roles in a child's life that they have in the past. Though the truth that the role of godparents has been to help shape a child into a healthy adult might mean that your sister doesn't trust that you could do that well, especially if you are still playing these games as an adult.

It's kinda like having 2 sisters and choosing one and the other starts crying then your mother starts crying, wah wah, lol, I mean really, sorry to be a jackass here, but this isn't the end of the world. This should be a DearSugar poll.

Did you pick them so they would pick you? That's dumb if you did.

Well it seems like you felt that you where obligated to ask them to be your daughters God Parent's seeing that you guys are family but not close as far as couples are concerned and that was your mistake. However she may have a friend that she has had since childhood who is like a sister, or may very well have a sister ( someone she's actually close too) that she wanted instead and she has every right to pick who she wants. I mean this isn't a school yard game and just because you didn't get picked you can't stomp off and not talk to the captain anymore, be and adult and move on! It seems that you picked people who will play an important role in your child's life for reasons that weren't pure and honest.

Oh, jeez. I have no words, only laughter.

Its not really a big deal at all... I say move on and get over it

Kate, you want to be my god mommy? I'll let you spoil me, i mean give me guidance.

What are you nine? It's a personal choice and she didn't chose you, it's not a gift exchange where you're guaranteed a return.

You're hurt you weren't chosen. ok. But get over it. It's not that big of a deal.

I mean really, I never saw the importance of MY godparents. I hardly see them.