Last night, something mortifying happened. My boyfriend, who I live with, went out with his friend for a beer and I went to bed. I fell asleep long before he came home, and when I woke up (at 3:30am) he was well... (god this is embarrassing) dry humping me in the spooning position. Granted, he was doing this while I was TOTALLY asleep. Like, 100% dead asleep (and I'm a heavy sleeper.) And it was definitely sexual, he was making sexual type noises.
Now, let me say that NOTHING like this has ever happened. I was so surprised when I woke up that I thought it wasn't him and spent a moment trying to decide if I should scream because I thought it was someone else, seeing as it was SO unlikely that he would do this. He's been nothing but sexually respectful the entire time we've been together, which is more than a year. However, this really scared the hell out of me because a few months before I met him I was sexually assaulted-- I woke up and a guy I had been seeing was having sex with me, so this is an especially touchy thing for me. And he knows it is, because I've told him that I was sexually assaulted and some information about how it happened.
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Anyway, while contemplating if I should scream, I realized it was him from his voice. So I waited a second and then said his name... at this point, he sort of rolled over and then seemed surprised that I was talking to him. I calmly asked him what he was doing and it seemed like he didn't know what I was talking about. I continued to tell him what had happened, and he claimed he had no recollection. Apparently he came home at 2 and went to sleep at 2:30. He also wasn't intoxicated at this point (even though he'd gone out), so I know that wouldn't account for any memory loss. When I told him and he realized I was serious (I can see how this would sound strange at first) he was SO upset. He said that he must have been asleep because he didn't remember and wouldn't have done it. He's apologized so much.
Here's my problem, though.... I'm extremely shocked about last night. It was terrifying to wake up like that (again) and then to have him deny it was even worse. And can I even believe him? Can something like that even happen while you're asleep? And how do I feel safe sleeping next to him now if he does things like that "in his sleep" what could be next? I can't imagine him EVER trying to do anything like that, so I just don't know how to proceed and move on.... as of right now, I'm scared to sleep in the same bed with him. Any ideas? Thanks in advance for your words of wisdom!
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I signed onto my friend's account... she was using my laptop! this is mixed media.
i really don't think that your man means to make you feel that uncomfortable and violated. he loves you. i second betty, i think that some therapy would help you work through your feelings.
) as if he was clearing the order off the screen haha. (on a different night)he sat straight up, hung his legs off the bed as though he wer just sitting there, i sat beside him, loving it, and he patted the bed next to him and said Dr. Shawn. I don't know who or what this meant, and neither did he, but we had a good laugh off of it, jsut like the poking my eye to clear the screen thing haha.
That's a tough one. I've never been sexually assaulted but I can tell you I have been married for six years and my husband does that crap to me almost every morning. Since your guy had been drinking, "one" beer very may have been actually three or four and it's truly possible he doesn't remember doing it. I don't think it's anything to worry about. Hope you feel better.