In this sketch from the early days of MadTV, Mary Scheer plays the role of Fran Drescher, hosting "When Babies Attack" a parody of disaster programs Fox used to air in the mid 90's... Enjoy!

Just got these in an email and I giggled..

Favorite one.

Bryan's Resimay

To hoom it mae cunsern,

I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.

I can Type realee quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting..

I think I am good on the phone and I no I am a pepole person,
Pepole really seam to respond to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.

I no my spelling is not to good but fi nd that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety.

My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start emeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,

BRYAN

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.

Bryan

Employer ' s response:

Dear Bryan ,

It's OK honey, we've got spell check.

See you Monday.

Debbie

A man riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.'

The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?'

Your Lucky Underwear is Blue

You are caring and extroverted. You've made relationships your number one focus, and your lucky blue underwear can bring some balance to them. You thrive in one-on-one situations. You are a good listener and a natural born therapist. Sometimes you let the concerns of others become too important in your life, leading to stress and worry. If you want more balance, put on your blue underpants. They'll help you take care of yourself first.

What Color Is Your Lucky Underwear?

What a coincidence this color is my favorite color!!!!

You Are 36% Abnormal

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul. You are at low risk for having a borderline personality. It is unlikely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at medium risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is somewhat likely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

This is not true but real fun!

Your Lucky Underwear is Yellow

You're an extremely happy, laid back, fun soul. And your lucky yellow underwear can help you get even more out of life. In life, you rather play than work. You're apt to quit any task that doesn't nourish your creativity and inner child. Sometimes your drive for freedom hinders your quality of life. You find it impossible to do anything unpleasant. If you want to have responsibilities and still have fun, put on your yellow underpants. They'll help you make a party out of the most mundane tasks.

What Color Is Your Lucky Underwear?

I found this real fun - LOL. I think I've to look for yellow underwears now...

http://www.ironicsans.com/state22.html

I got all but one. Stupid West Virginia!

You Should Call Your Boobs

Lady & The Tramp

What Should You Nickname Your Boobs?

Once upon a time in a place overrun with monkeys, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, they became harder to catch, so the villagers stopped their effort.

The man then announced that he would now pay $20 for each one. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. But soon the supply diminished even further and they were ever harder to catch, so people started going back to their farms and forgot about monkey catching.

The man increased his price to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so sparse that it was an effort to even see a monkey, much less catch one.

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys for $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf.

While the man was away the assistant told the villagers. 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has bought. I will sell them to you at $35 each and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.'

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys. They never saw the man nor his assistant again and once again there were monkeys everywhere.

Now you have a general understanding of how the government bailout works.

I'm still chuckling over this.

Small Change
Saturday, May 3, 2008, 07:36 PM
Posted by Administrator
A man walked into a convenience store, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change.

When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided.

The man took the cash from the clerk and fled-- leaving the $20 bill on the counter.

The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars.

Besides the obvious frozen yogurt, churros, and delicious Polish hot dogs (which I can get all for under $5.00) ...and not to mention the tantalizing dried mangoes, heavenly chocolate cake and delicious bakery rolls. Costco (in all its wholesale glory) just happens to be one of my favorite places to go. If I had to be locked in a store for the rest of my life, I'd definitely choose Costco!

Another one:

Procedure of Flash Fabrica Game:

1. Touch 'start'

2. Wait for 3, 2, 1

3. Memorize the number's position on the screen, then click each circle from the smallest number to the biggest number.

4. At the end of game, computer will tell you how old your brain.

Good luck!!

http://flashfabrica.com/f_learning/brain/brain.html

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